Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
