We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize