After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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