you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
