I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
