What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
