where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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