Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
