My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize