the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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