i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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