We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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