I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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