i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
