Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Randomize
