goodnight i made you a song goodbye
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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