My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
