Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
