Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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