So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
porn star boner night. come get it.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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