you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
