I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
