But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
