Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
