Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
