I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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