yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
