I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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