In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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