you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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