nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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