I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
People in love make me want to vomit
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
