If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
