I'm eating all of the evidence.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
this hospital has no fireball
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
