What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
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