Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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