Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
