dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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