i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
