Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
