HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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