I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
