dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
