i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
