So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
