I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize