Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So here I am, sexting at work.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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