i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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