I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
