I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
