i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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