Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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