I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
